I actually didn’t find out about my addictive personality disorder in any of the normal ways. A lot of the time, people with addictive personalities are very good at self deception, and I was certainly no exception to this rule. Every time I would come down with another addiction or relapse into an old habit, I would have some excuse for myself. I would tell myself it was no big deal or that I was only using it this once, knowing all along that in fact my addictive behavior would continue. A lot of my friends wanted me to go in for addiction treatment and counseling, but I was having none of it. I went back to my old ways, forcing myself to believe That there was nothing wrong.